(UPDATE: Reading over the post below, a few hours later...what a whiner. Who wrote this anyway? Boo f-ing hoo, you lost another chess game and some of your precious rating points! Well you can mew about how tough it all is, you little baby, or you can get out there and compete. And after the game, win or lose, and if you lost, no matter how, don't act like it's a personal affront that the other player kicked your ass!
Apologies to Kevin Gafni and Robert Bennett for the way I slam-packed up my pieces and went home the last two weeks. The good players stick around, even after the most disappointing losses, and do a postmortem if the opponent is up for it. And now, on to my pathetic post which will be left up for all time to remind me not to act like my losing a freakin' game of chess is of World-Historical importance...)
I lost yet again last night in the Reno CC Ch. Swiss, to Robert Bennett, a guy who hangs around 1500 in the ratings but sure seems to be a pretty good tactician when I play him (see our previous encounter).
I outplayed him in the opening (or at least I thought so at the time) and won his queen pawn by move 10, but he tacked around with his queen to prevent me from castling so it was just a pure calculation game all the way through, and just before move 30 and the time control I blew it. And sheesh, the guy took like 38 minutes for the whole game to my 90!
So now I'm 0-2 in this event and have lost my last four tournament games. Eight months of painfully building up my rating from 1600 to 1667 is mostly up in smoke in a few weeks, which kind of pisses me off.
Yeah, there are lots of games left in the tournament, but hear me out.
It's funny, but last night I had an interesting game of chess, my opponent played better and deserved to win, but for the second week in a row I shook hands after the game, I was correct in my behavior I guess, but when my opponent and others tried to say something about the game I wasn't interested at all. I didn't give a damn to look at the game, find interesting variations or anything, I just slammed my pieces back in the bag while muttering about what an idiot I was, and went home.
At one time not so long ago it wasn't like this, not at all--I used to enjoy the playing and then looking over the game, win or lose.
It occurred to me as I was driving home--do I really like chess right now, or do I only like winning? Everybody loses in chess sometimes, so if I'm not enjoying the process, the game, and feel like every single solitary tournament loss is another wasted evening when I could have been doing something useful like making money, I'd better take a rest from it, I guess.
I think I'll do the smart thing, give it a couple of days and see if my attitude has undergone some positive adjustment by then.